Extra, Extra

By Margaret Lyons in News on Dec 13, 2007 1:00AM

The City's settlement in the Burge case has stalled again. Again.

Really cute profile of a children's television production company based right here.

"Well, the shit really hit the fan last night. And it was the CEILING fan. Maybe I should find a new taqueria." Nothing to do with anything, but we just lost 20 minutes going through the entire archive, and we loved every second.

Hey, ladies, don't forget to have a bunch of sex now so you don't piss yourself accidentally later in life. But really, today's big news is that sex bolsters your immune system, makes you look younger, burns four calories a minute, regulates periods and cures headaches. Sex is magic!

A giant mall Christmas tree caught on fire, and the blaze destroyed big, plastic reindeer, fake presents, and some of Santa's Village in the Evergreen Plaza Shopping Center. No one was hurt, but consider the message received, Jesus.

Ike Turner died today at his home in San Diego. He was 76.

Walgreen's dropped all charges against Shia LaBeouf. We're still charging him on one count of being adorable, but ok.

There's a $5,000 reward for this missing show dog. He's gigantic, fluffy and responds to Tug or Johnny.

C'mon, you know no day is complete without a dog in a Christmas outfit.

Image via Pantagraher