Bears Lay New Rules On Bags At Home Games For Fans

By Benjy Lipsman in News on Aug 14, 2013 7:20PM

In the latest act of security theater no doubt inspired by the Boston Marathon bombing, the NFL issued new team public safety best practices for for the 2013 season. The Bears announced the specifics of the new measures on their website Tuesday and these rules go into effect during Thursday night's pre-season game against the San Diego Chargers.

The rules stipulate the typical forbidden items, like outside alcohol, weapons, or laser pointers. It also bans noise makers, umbrellas and seat cushions with zippered covers, pockets or flaps.

Among the most draconian of the rules is the prohibition of just about any kind of bag. No backpacks, fanny packs, briefcases, camera bags or even purses bigger than a small clutch will be allowed. The only exceptions are "Bags that are clear plastic, vinyl or PVC and do not exceed 12"x6"x12"" or "One-gallon re-sealable 10"x10"x2" clear freezer bag." No word on whether all your toiletries must be in 3-ounce. bottles or whether cargo pants are allowed. While one might be able to plan ahead for Sunday kickoffs, these new rules are likely to burden those coming from work for the Bears five (including pre-season) weeknight evening games.

To clarify, cameras (not video cameras) and binoculars are allowed—just not their cases. So if you bring your camera, you do so at risk of it getting knocked by a rowdy fan or doused in beer without any line of defense to protect your expensive gear.

Of course, the NFL is never one to pass up a revenue enhancing opportunity, so the NFL will ever so thoughtfully sell fans bags that conform to their new policies, priced from $9.95.