Big Cat Bandits Pull Off One of Chicago’s All-time Dumbest Capers

By JoshMogerman in News on Apr 10, 2011 7:00PM

On one hand, you know times are tough when burglars are willing to brave man-eating tigers to pull off a low-end caper... On the other hand, WTF do you have to do to protect your stuff if you already have man-eating guard tigers and still suffer break-ins? That is the quandary for Lincoln Park Zoo officials after some seriously brave/stupid thieves broke into the Kovler Lion House early Saturday morning and assumedly (since nobody reported blood or chewed up limbs at the scene of the crime) lived to tell the tale.

After getting past zoo gates and security, the big cat bandits busted through a basement window and steel door on their way into an off-exhibit staff area where they rifled through documents and grabbed an assortment of items worth around $3,000. The anti-cat crooks were extremely lucky that the building’s resident lions, tigers and leopards spent the night in secure holding facilities as the robbers escaped by climbing up and out of the outdoor tiger yard exhibit mote---oddly, leaving their aluminum ladder behind. (Who does that? Those things are pricey!)

The Sun-Times notes that police have no description of the offenders. Given the haul from this wacky score---walkie-talkies and a can of pepper spray---we suggest trolling the neighborhood Kindergartens for students exhibiting an unhealthy fascination with the on the classic children’s book “Good Night, Gorilla.” Or maybe the cast of Zooboomafoo… If CPD strikes out, we are confident this is a case that Lester Fisher can crack it in no time.